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falkor · Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:41 pm Post subject: have you two timed?

Many of us make our way to work thinking of a new amorous relationship - how exciting would that be? These feelings are natural - people of the opposite sex that we see in our everyday lives may seem to be an attractive proposition but what happens when you're already married? Do these feelings evaporate?

No they don't - but what we do about them is usually a different story. Read what Ingrid Tarrant has to say on this issue because it's WELL WORTH a perusal:: smirk city

article HERE
I would say to Chris, 'Look things aren't right, is there anybody else?' and he'd say, 'Oh don't be so silly.' So I trusted him more than my own instincts.

But I'm a need-to-know person. It was a huge decision to put a private detective on him. I respect people's privacy hugely and I thought, 'God this is absolutely horrible.'

But I had to do it. I had to be certain in my own mind. Prior to hiring the detective, I had almost conclusive evidence, but it was in case he wriggled out of what information I did have.

When I first found out I was devastated. He was the love of my life.

I shook. It was physical. I felt I was going to have a heart attack. My heart felt torn apart, physically as well as emotionally. I was literally broken-hearted and shocked.

I confirmed to Chris that I knew he was lying when I produced the evidence.

He lied up to the last minute, and I said: 'You are lying and I know,' and gave him one shred of the evidence that was absolutely conclusive.

What was worst was the deceit. Like the times he said he was going to the house or he was going fishing and I now know he was going to see her.

He lied to us all.

He jeopardised everything, but he did so believing that, because he knows so many other people who have played around and their marriages are still intact, 'their wives took them back so she'll take me back.'

But I can't forgive. I've questioned myself a million times and I can't. I thought I was going mad, and he was telling me that he would phone a psychiatrist.

You don't do that to anybody - so that is the unforgivable aspect of the whole thing.

If he had told me the truth then I could have handled it because then I would have believed he was capable of telling the truth. Then you can start from scratch.

I got Chris to tell the children in the end. I just thought he has got to see what he has done.

It wasn't a punishment as such, but I don't think to this day that he really thinks it was that bad because others do it.

It has been hard to take on board that his affair didn't mean anything. As one of the children said: 'If she didn't mean anything then we must have meant even less.'

That makes sense to me.

I gather it didn't mean anything to her either and it was just sex. She was flattered. She couldn't believe such a famous person was interested in 'little old me'.

He says he was being a bloke, but all blokes aren't like that. Why wasn't he one of the good blokes?

I think it's pretty damaging to his career. There seems to be a backlash. The public don't know me but it's almost like they're supporting me whole-heartedly.

They're feeling my pain. They're feeling my heartbreak.

He's always come across that he loves his family. He gave up Capital Radio to spend more time with his family.

Well we now know it was to spend more time with her. He used all that extra time not to be with us but to be with her.

It's hypocrisy and nobody likes a hypocrite. That's damaged him as well.

I would like to be able to meet up with Chris again in the future, for the children as much as for the years that we had together.

At the moment, though, I don't want to see him, I can't bear to hear his voice. It will take a lot longer for me to see him because all I would see are lying eyes.

I saw a picture of him in the paper the other day and the first thing I looked at were the eyes and I thought: 'You liar!'
article HERE

stu · Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:33 pm Post subject:

Nice subject Falk,

it may be a bit of a sticky subject though!

Ok anyone want to tell us about anything! Wink

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Trip · Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:42 pm Post subject:

Personnaly i've never two timed...

I'm a one girl guy, when i was in my last serious relationship I only ever had eyes for my girlfriend! I've always found that, i'd feel to guilty doing the dirty!

But I know it happens, sometimes I can see why it happens...
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danielswindells · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 1:32 am Post subject:

Never have and never will. No excuse for doing it either. Kissing is cheating too in my eyes under most circumstances. Despite me saying this, I am not the jealous type...why is it then, that some girls get annoyed when you don't get angry/jealous?...ya just can't win sometimes!

Trip · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 1:35 am Post subject:

danielswindells · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 1:53 am Post subject:

Indeed Trip me old mucker, their is a saying that "women love a b*****d!".....I appreciate it isn't really true and is said somewhat tongue in cheek,but when you see girls/guys going off with partners who are the stereotypical essex wideboy chavette, with a "what ya lookin at?" type attitude....it does make you wonder, what sane woma/guy would complain that their partner is too nice as well? lol

Goldie5 · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 2:05 am Post subject:

Nope, never have and never will (I know, I know......should never say never!).

Though I have been on the wrong end of someone elses relationship falling apart where the 'orrible little sod didn't tell me he was attached (very attached Shocked

). It was a nightmare I never want repeated, why anyone would knowingly get themselves caught up in that scenario is beyond me.
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Hysteria · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 2:21 am Post subject:

I was cheated on for almost a year in my last serious relationship Crying or Very sad

My ex was cheatin with an ex friend of mine which made it worse ..

The reasons she gave when it all came out was ' I was ' always working ' .. she wanted to go out to the pub or clubs all the time

Too nice Shocked

Anyway that put me off relationship's as I just don't and can't trust anymore

I seem to attract peeps like that Rolling Eyes

jimbo · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 6:29 pm Post subject:

Isn't it funny how you always meet hundreds of people who've been cheated on, but never meet people EVER who have cheated on someone else?

Funny that, isn't it. Wink

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falkor · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 6:51 pm Post subject:

Jimbo I think you're onto something there me old pally

and another thing

I reckon the saucy Ingrid got that pet detective on the job only to cover her own tracks while she was busy two timing like mad herself, Chris was far too busy to notice though because he was having too much fun trying to throw the pet detective off the trail with dog biscuits of a different colour, what do you reckon jimbo? Shocked

Funny Boy · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:48 pm Post subject:

mj12cz · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 10:56 pm Post subject:

I have cheated on an ex girlfiried in the past... however that was the past.
I have NEVER cheated on my wife Marie before or after we were married. I have no reason to, I love her as a wife and respect her as a friend, therefore I am 100 % content! Laughing

She is my buddy! Laughing

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falkor · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 11:27 pm Post subject:

Funny Boy that was very brave of you to post what happened Embarassed

I can't imagine what you went through and your wife too Crying or Very sad

mj12 how old were you ? Wink

wannabe · Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:17 am Post subject:

I was cheated on by my first love and was hurt so much i vowed i would never do it to anyone myself. I have been married for 18 years now and told my hubby when we first met that i would never accept any excuse for cheating.

wannabe xx

alihowe · Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:35 pm Post subject:

Married 23yrs Jan 2007, married at 18 years old. Love the old fart to bits bless him, snoring 'n' all and never cheated Razz

I'm the worlds biggest flirt, I have to admit but I would never do that to him and hopefully him not to me. There's a line and we both know not to cross it. If he did I would do a MRS BOBBIT on him or BOIL HIS BUNNY and he knows it! MHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Evil or Very Mad

I have seen many of my friends divorce and throw away all they have, thinking the grass is greener, only to find out the field is full of weeds Rolling Eyes

Better the devil you know is my motto Wink

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